somehow i feel better

knowing that i can blather on here than on facebook because nobody HAS to come here, nobody is FORCED to read my ramblings, i can just ramble on and on and nobody has to give a rat's hiney because sometimes that's all a person needs is a place to dump. we all need dumping grounds that eventually may turn into a nice healthy compost heap but for now it's just a dumping ground maybe one day a stomping ground but right now a dumping ground and that's what i'm doing in the natalie goldberg kind of way like back in the day when people actually went to churches and had priests to listen to their jibber jabber but even then i bet the priests would get tired of listening to people ramble on so that's why they had the little lacy wall in between them and the confessor because if they wanted to fall asleep while the person rambled then they could and i think that's good we should all be allowed to fall asleep at the wheel once in a while not in real life of course but in our imagination we should be allowed to fall asleep at the wheel of our imagination and that's what i'm doing right now because if you can never get unplugged if you can never just turn off the 'to-do' list of your life and your mind and your body and just be in one place sitting still and letting your mind fly high then what is the point i tell you what is the point of this life if you can't let your mind take you someplace new someplace different so that the big fat dreams that you dream may one day become realities or maybe not realities but either way at least you have some kind of compass pointing you in some kind of direction instead of just treading water and barely keeping up with what is around you barely keeping up and making do barely keeping up and just maintaining and it's no good to just maintain you've got to think big you've got to think even bigger than you thought you were thinking when you thought you were thinking big. amen sistuhs and bruthuhmans

this is a shoutitout to the people the people, the people the people who are going to make it into my one woman extravaganza tribute to all of the people and peeps that I have known in my lifetime who have made a difference who have changed me changed the path that I was on diverted the mud on the beach into a beautiful new river that empties into the sea the people who have touched or cajoled or moved or guffawed with me who showed me by their weird and thoughtful strange and witty, odd and unique, rhythms and rhymes and funky dimes and nickels and sense how to be free to be me and you and them and not look back at last week when I may not have been so up or down but there's no point no point no point in looking back unless you are looking back to revel in the fact that you are still alive and your neurons are working well enough to recount anything anyway no need to belabor or beat a dead donkey about it just live it and breathe it and remember it and see it and try to hold on and savor it and slow it down and slow slow down because there is no point in hurling forward when you can just slow down enough to a kids' pace a snail's pace and let your fingers get dirty in the dirt and slow down enough to forget what time it is and be outside and stop checking your gadgets and just be be be be be be because it's good to get no sleep once in a while and it's good to get drunk too and it's good to dance and it's good to have coffee and it's good to feel sore and tired and it's good to laugh a lot and it's good to have lots of good comebacks so you can rest up and ease up in between the onslaught of nonsense that will inevitably come your way so slow down, ease up on that horsie and enjoy the long, slow ride up that twilight hill towards the blackberries and the thrills of your imagination gone wild along with the girls on spring break who take no prisoners in their wake but they set a new standard for what women will take for their own pleasure and namesake and that's what is at stake after all.... a chocolate ganache coconut on your eyelash cake.

sumthin

sometimes i fergit how important it is to just let and be and stop plannin and perpetratin and scared to kick realiT there is too much out there to get stuck in here and i am still learnin learnin learnin to let go and let and let out and let let because it's too EZ to get stuck in a rut of what is and forgit what can be if you just visualize bubblitupize surprize yoself with what is in the skies reikify the change that you'd like to signify and then what is better yet (that i fergit) than even that is to just let let let the magic that is all around you in in in

i am going to do a rap freestyle in yo face corn on the cob without a trace nacho libre with a can of mace ain't no point in calculatin just gotta be what is, that's right, no gesticulatin if i learned anythin it's that, in a nutshell, there ain't no point in being blue you just gotta ride the tide sit back and slip and slide just smile and try because if you don't and you just say 'won't' then who knows what you could have done when you have too many shouldn'ts and wouldn'ts in your cabeza what's the raison d'etre just aim to say 'you betcha' instead of 'sorry, no can let ya.'

Nobody gets it right 100% of the time. 90% instinct, 5% logic, 4% magic, 1/2 % stupidity, and ½% sheer luck/fate/synchronicity.

comprende

there are only so many hours in the day, touche
michael buble
and i've only got so many more breaths in me, boopy
doopy
i keep doing
and then learning
i can't seem to do both at the same time
life is like (yes, cliche but true) a roller coaster
sometimes i'm flyin having too much sun
sometimes i'm better off viewing from the ground
like a faun too beautiful for its own comprehension
the meaning of my life defiantly defies explication, and even as soon as i think i get it... it's gone

the minus sign

People are so afraid of negativity
Including me
So hard to figure out what to do with it… distract it? Deal with it? Dwell in it? Ignore it?
So much harder to just be with it, and wait, until an answer comes, of its own accord.
We all want answers, instant answers.
We all want to be up, and cool, and hip, and trendy, and now
Nobody wants to be stuck and old and unkempt and hairy
But usually it’s only after you’ve let your hair get too long and greasy
And your clothes worn out too many times
That you begin to remember what it was that the last person said
And you actually connect a train of thoughts
So that your world makes sense and you’ve accepted it, all of it.