i finally figured it out...

yup, I finally did. it all made sense. the whole world suddenly made sense to me as I walked back and forth, to and fro in the grass and my kids played with their friend on the swings and I ruminated with myself and ruminated some more about anything and everything that oliver burkeman writes from this amazing book called Help. it's amazing. utterly, udderly amazing. numero uno) push yourself. if you are pushing yourself to try something new and do something sometimes precisely because you know you will not get approval from the rest of the world, then do it. it builds character. like this lovely photo of a school for strippers. why not? why the hell not? who would have ever thought there were schools for such talents. but there are. and they should be memorialized. a tribute to ab-normality. why the hell not.
so yeah, it all made sense to me as I rattled on to myself and tried to figure out the world and what I came back to again and again was the most simple and obvious of truths but much different when you know it on a gut level, versus an intellectual level and that is...you have to be true to yourself. ok, Shakespeare already said it but it's only now making sense to me. you have to 1) know yourself in order to be true to yourself and then 2) be true to yourself, and then 3) stick to your guns and be true to yourself no matter what kind of opposition comes your way.
if you are truly true to yourself, then the rest of the world falls into place. you are then fair to yourself and when you are fair to yourself then you are fairer to others, and kinder to others and so on and so forth but you have to start somewhere and usually it's best to start with yourself. take care of your own happiness. if you are not happy, nobody else around you will be either. so figure out what makes you happy and go for it and quit trying to be whatever is somebody else's conception of happiness. be true to what makes you happy and life will fall into place.
if going out a lot and never sitting still makes your happy, then do it. if being a homebody makes you happy, then do it. there is no right or wrong. just figure out what you need and get it. and don't let everybody else's demands come first. it's important to take them into consideration but there is no need for martyrs in this world anymore. the roman catholic church is dying its own slow death and the age of self and societal imposed guilt will soon be over, my friends. at least that's my hope. ok, well maybe a little guilt can stay. a little guilt to just keep you on course now and then, but really. for the most part guilt is totally out of vogue. some rational thinking, perspective and a dose of awareness with a hint of good eating, sleep, social time, and exercise is all you need for a life in balance. ok, add red wine, chocolate, something warm and fuzzy to snuggle, and someone to laugh with, and call it good.
so remember this: know who you are. take time to know who you are. sit still long enough with yourself, alone, to know who you are and when you're listening really hard and really paying attention, then remember to write it down and never forget it because this is your ticket to peace, freedom, and a happy roller coaster ride through life.