New Year's hopeful maybe goals

I know they say that it's better to 'do you best' rather than say you will 'try your best.' So I should be making New Year's resolutions rather than 'maybe goals,' but life recently has taught me to keep some room for flexibility in the picture rather than disappoint too many. It's not that I am not planning on implementing these ideas, it's that life gets in the way sometimes and I don't want to get too hard on myself because 'maybe goal' numero uno is...

1) get soft. I think the most beautiful thing that I have observed in friends lately is the ability to be soft. I admire people who are soft. they have a soft core. not a pushover but a softness. life gets rough sometimes and it's easy to slide into being tough all the time. having a deeper, lower voice to command respect instead of a softer, lighter pitch and gentler tone. but, in the end, we are all so much gentler and kinder towards each other when we allow for more softness. and it goes with everything. from how gently you hug someone to the volume of your voice to the kinds of words you rely on to make your point when life gets tough. do you resort to aggro words that bespeak power and domination or can you choose a softer word that still gets your point across. it's like antibiotics. do you go for the big guns, or do you try a gentler approach first and then increase intensity? I'm learning to approach things more slowly. choosing my words with greater care. caressing each word that I write or speak and touching the shoulders of my friends with a lightness of touch.

I'm also learning to be gentler with myself. not expecting so much from myself all the time. giving myself more time to complete tasks. saving more time for fun in my life. so maybe the fence takes longer to get fixed, it's alright. my attitude in the meantime is lighter. and, my theory goes, the sooner you get done with one task, it seems like more and more appear to fill the void. so maybe putting off a task actually staves off the rest of them from looming so heavily on my mind.

so I'm staying with my 'maybe goal' numero uno longer than usual. maybe this is my only real goal for 2015. maybe that's the best way to remember it. reduce it to one goal. grow gentler. change doesn't have to happen overnight. savor things longer. savor that chocolate kiss longer. savor the time alone longer. savor each moment longer rather than plunging ahead to the next task so willy nilly.

I still have a million one things I want to do right here and now. I want to travel, try to publish things, do more crafts, spend more time with my kids, spend less time with my kids. get more exercise, read more, get outside more, fix up the house more, there are just so many things that I can never get to that I need to get to like vacuuming the car. it's never ever ending and I feel, much of the time, like I don't know which one to do first because there are so many but I just have to take one baby step at a time and choose the best that I can. I can't do a million things at once. I just have to try do one. and then another. and then another... so what is next? what will I do with the next precious moments that I have been granted in a bodily form here on earth? finish my 'maybe goals.'

2) spend less time on facebook
3) spend more time reading
4) get more exercise, dancing, walking
5) clean my car more often
6) get more sleep
7) remove clutter from my house so it's more zenlike
8) revisit my 'maybe goal' list often so that I remember this stuff
9) write a happy list on the wall to remember the happy memories more because they say happy people remember happy things more and sad people focus on sad things more
10) get crackin right now
11) remove the clutter... yup, that's it. I want a zen household.