writer's workshop freewrite topic: Use "didgeridoo", "messy" and "loud man on cell phone" in a short piece.

 

well, since you asked... don't mind if I do...

 

I was sitting in the middle of the café, really wished the hostess had found me a table more along the edge but oh well, when I noticed that the loud man on the cell phone next to me was my uncle juan. I hadn't seen him in at least 20 years but it was him alright. he liked to multi-task, being a lawyer and all, and so he had his laptop balanced on his knees, a cell phone glued to his shoulder, and in between blowing on his didgeridoo, he was barking out commands for his assistant back at the office. 'I don't care how long it takes him to line me up some cattle, I want those cattle checked for meningitis by the time I get back to Wyoming! and if they're not, then there's going to be hell to pay for those ranchers who think they can squat on my property and let their damn beasts have the run of my land, spreading vermin and all kinds of messy other diseases my way. dammit! has anyone heard of a refill around here?"

 

my uncle juan hadn't been the same since he lost his daughter to the polygamous family who had the neighboring ranch. it was to be expected, of course. he had sent Juanita out for her daily chore, checking for vermin and mosquito larvae along the fenceline at dawn ("you can never check too often for lice, mouse droppings laced with hantivirus, or rabid dogs when running a ranch full-time" he always used to bark out), when she had bumped into one of the sons of one of the wives who was married to papa savior. the boy had twisted his ankle and needed to be carried back to their home before the cowbell rang for breakfast. so Juanita decided to do her part. she didn't know what polygamous meant, but if it was another one of them diseases that her dad was always yelling about, then she knew to stay far far away.

 

when they got to the cabin, she could smell the delicious aroma of biscuits and gravy and her heart sank. she knew if she stepped foot in their home that she would be tainted with head lice or staph infection for months, possibly years. but her hunger was too great and so she accepted their humble offer to join them at the table.... (to be continued ~)