ok so this is what i do

i write and I write and I write and I write
until my fingers relax
and the words flow
and I don't really give a rat's tushie
whether anyone reads this or not
it's just for me
but it's not
it's for the world to see
but not
because
I want to parade my wares or stare into my navel
but because
I feel
like
all of us
all of us
have too much going on inside
and all of us
all of us
would benefit by letting it out
and not that we need to let it all out
god knows some of it can stay in
sometimes I sit and I sit
biting my tongue
biding my time
and I think... why don't I have a taste of my own medicine? why not squeal it out
but the truth is
you WILL squeal it out
when the time comes
it will become very very clear
when you need to
until then
bide your time
it's all in good time
but let the rest of it out
whenever you can
I know too many people
who are so good
at letting it out
without really letting it ALL out
they are exuberant
they live life to the fullest
but they also don't rain on everyone else's parade
I look towards these people
I try to learn something from them
anything
sometimes it's just in their abundant smile
sometimes it's in their gutsy laugh
sometimes it's in their generosity
sometimes it's in their impetuosity
sometimes it's in their quietude
sometimes it's in their permissiveness
sometimes it's in the way that they don't give a cahuna's hiney what they eat for dinner
sometimes it's in the way they punctuate the ending of every conversation with a smile, exclamation point and letting go into the void affirming that they will be happy, always happy, no matter what, life's too short not to be happy
sometimes it's in their eyes, the gentle focus of their soft gaze that never, oh no never, judges and never, oh no never, rushes you along headlong, they are patient beyond belief
and sometimes I just can't keep up
but I try, try to squeeze a tiny drop of their toothpaste onto my toothbrush
and hope that a bit of their zen-ness will rub off on me
I know too many people
who show me the way
to lose myself in negativity, whininess, or self pity
although I am very good at those qualities too, when I feel like it
not that there is anything wrong with those either, and I do not speak fecestiously
we all need to let it go into whatever pit our mind wants to go
but if you feel like it's time to pull yourself out
then there's always a way
just let it go
let it go
let it go