I'm back to no caffeine     Not because I'm self imposing suffering not because I'm on some new anti caffeine kick not because of any other reason than this.    That I drop down I get grounded into the dirt like coffee grounds that I am finally truly there for people even more there for myself    I'm just more there.  My mind isn't off in lala land and even if it goes to lala land then I can come back to myself in the flash of an instant and I am there for whoever or whatever needs me. Even if its just me that needs me. I drop down.  Drop down into the ground into a very grounded place and nothing nothing nothing can rattle me unless I want it to.